.

so i haven't written in a while because i forgot my password lol.

even though it's been a weeks since i have written things haven't really changed. well i take that back things have changed a lot. the other day my mom told me that grandpy isn't going to do chemo. when i first heard that it didn't faze me. i didn't really understood what it means. now i do. it means that he's not going to try and fight it. it means that we now have less time to be with him. everytime i think that he may not be here tomorrow i can't help but to think of ally. which than makes me even more sad to know that she isn't around.

i mean it's going to be summer soon. (one week and 1 dayyy) summer means no worry, no stress, just fun, the beach, tanning and tournament. (oh and getting hyped up for the phillies mets game on the 5) not not wanting to go far away for to long because i might miss somthing. i just thought that part of my life was over, but than again why would "he" make it simple for me and my family? it seems like every year i have somthing terrible happen to me. either a death or someone being diganosed(sp) with cancer (god i hate that word). and that's true cuz ever since 7th grade one of them has happend to me. why should this year be any different? high school is supposed to be the best years of your life. well so far it has sucked. majorly.

i just wish this was over with. not saying i want him dead, ('cause i realllllyyyy don't!!) but i just am sick a fuckin tired of the pain. i don't know maybe after this i wil finally get some peace.